


i don't know what i was thinking

by Anonymous



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crack Treated Seriously, Hanamura Teruteru Being Hanamura Teruteru, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Share a Body Simultaneously, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, Multi, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Post-Canon, Semi-Public Sex, Teruteru-centric, i have not edited this as i am terrified of reading or touching it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:34:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24763171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Settled into their life on Jabberwock Island, the former remnants of despair (and Mitarai) become closer. A lonely Teruteru feels left out and takes extreme measures.
Relationships: Hanamura Teruteru/Loneliness, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 139
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CoolerMudkip](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoolerMudkip/gifts).



> If you're reading this: I'm so sorry.

"Everyone," Teruteru emerges from the kitchen with a tray of fried marlin and a hush descends upon the room. "Dinner is served."

Owari leaps to her feet. Her chest bounces with the motion. "Finally! I'm starved!"

"You're always starving, you stupid cow-titted bitch. It's a miracle you haven't eaten the whole island by now." Saionji stands.

They form a queue in front of the banquet table: Owari followed by Impostor followed by a nervous Mitarai, and so on.

Teruteru doesn't eat with the rest of them. He ducks back into the kitchen and retrieves a sizable bowl of almond pudding. It jiggles enticingly.

Indistinct chatter from the diner leaks into the kitchen as he sets the pudding on the counter. It sounds like they're having fun. He whisks a bowl of cream.

They're all having more fun, lately.

Their farm has expanded, their crops are flourishing, their allies in the outside world deliver them monthly supplies, and they've settled for life here, no longer desperate to leave.

Not that long ago, Teruteru wouldn't even have served dessert. It's different now.

He carries out the pudding.

Nidai stops Owari before she can grab a serving. Impostor shovels their remaining food onto Mitarai's plate and lumbers over. Pekoyama takes two plates and returns to a blushing Kuzuryuu. Mioda grabs Tsumiki by the hand and physically pulls her to the pudding. Saionji and Koizumi each grab a plate together. Sonia, Souda, and Tanaka serve themselves while locked in an incomprehensible discussion. Hinata barely glances up from insisting that Komaeda stop being such a stubborn asshole and eat his food.

Teruteru wonders when everyone else on the island found someone. There's a heavy sexual tension in the room, an electricity Teruteru can almost touch. He smiles, he leaves.

-

He prefers to eat in the kitchen, after everyone else is finished. It feels more professional.

Koizumi is on duty today to clean the kitchen. She washes the dishes, far away from him, in a white T-shirt.

Teruteru watches her back, imagines her having an accident and getting her shirt wet. He shovels more food into his mouth.

When he finishes his food, she acknowledges him sternly. Not quite glaring, but annoyed enough to put him on edge. She really must hate him.

"Are you finished, Hanamura?" She wipes a dish with a rag. "I'll see you at the island meeting, then."

Teruteru hands her his plate and she takes it carefully, as if making sure their fingers don't touch.

When he's back in his room, he thinks about Mahiru's white T-shirt getting soaked. Just until it's time for the meeting.

-

The airport was useless, so they repurposed it into a meeting building. It helps that nobody died there, or even went there that often. The planes are long gone.

Hinata stands at the front of the room, with that look on his face he gets sometimes when he seems fed up with the world. A bit like that guy, although when somebody asked if it was him, Komaeda laughed.

Right now, Komaeda sits with his hands on his chin, near the front of the table, as close to Hinata as he can be. Teruteru sits on the other end of the table, as far from Komaeda as he can be.

The meeting begins. Sonia and Mitarai announce their anime club. Hinata has them pass around a piece of paper with order requests from the outside world. Teruteru considers asking for a new porn magazine. He asks for food ingredients and seasonings instead.

"Is that all?" Hinata takes the paper from Komaeda.

Owari's hand shoots up. "What about our monthly event? I think we should have a cookout on the beach!"

Hinata scans the list with his eyes and places it on the table in front of him. "Are there any objections to this idea?"

Silence.

"Okay then," he says. "I think that's about it."

-

The monthly event is an idea Impostor came up with shortly after they returned with Mitarai. Life on the island was dull, repetitive, and at the time it was constant work: repairing collapsed and collapsing buildings, finding food, constant cleaning, ferrying themselves between islands and tiring themselves out.

For just one day each month, they put all duties on hold and relax together.

Teruteru lugs a cooler full of food to the beach, a bored Hinata trailing behind with the grill.

Mioda scatters glitter and ribbons across the sand and palm trees, already clad in a loud red bikini, a black towel stylishly wrapped around her waist.

Hinata gently lowers the grill in the shadow of a palm tree, so Teruteru drops the food beside it. Mioda runs over, waving both arms above her head. Freezes mid-step.

A porn star moan resounds across the beach. Teruteru's breath catches. Hinata only blinks.

"Ooh!" Mioda throws her hands in the air. "A secret tryst on the beach? Ibuki is getting excited!"

"No." Hinata says. He doesn't elaborate.

Teruteru's bones shake. There's another, louder moan, and he can physically feel his resolve cracking.

"I'm going get more supplies." Hinata says. He walks away.

"Ibuki is going to get more glitter!" Mioda runs.

It's just Teruteru and the moans, so who can really blame him for following the sound? The voice sounds distinctly like Owari, and Teruteru can not pass up an opportunity to see her: huge breasts exposed, face twisted in pleasure, lean muscles flexing, huge and hulking Nidai pressing into her.

He finds her on her stomach, clad in a sky-blue bikini. Nidai kneels beside her in the sand, kneading her back. A massage.

Teruteru's body cools. Owari's moans abruptly drowned out by waves. The only thing he can do is stare blankly.

"Oi, Hanamura! Do you want me to do 'it' to you, too?" Nidai ceases his motions and looks up at Teruteru expectantly.

Teruteru regards Nidai's massive hands and his bulging muscles. He wants Nidai to crush him. He's so embarrassed, so lonely.

"S-Sure thing, Nidai-kun." he throws off his shirt. "And no need to be gentle."

He lies face down in the sand. Nidai's strong hands dig into his back. A distinct sense of wrongness coils inside of him, joining his disappointment. He feels empty.

-

The patties are devoured as soon as they're ready. Mioda brings her guitar and sings something 'experimental', bare legs crossed on the sand, and while the sound of it hurts his ears, Teruteru can't help but think she looks good in something so revealing.

He surveys the beach. Impostor is wearing a tight button-up and a blond wig, dressed up as some celebrity Teruteru doesn't recognise. They're talking to Tsumiki, who looks frantic, squirming in a tiny purple party dress that shows off her waist and legs.

For a moment, he imagines it: Impostor's huge frame towering over delicate Tsumiki, devouring her. Is this what they call NTR? Mioda's precious girlfriend stolen from her by this beast. Teruteru can imagine it all too vividly.

Hinata heads towards him. Teruteru stops leering.

"You did good tonight," Hinata says in that reassuring tone of his. "I hope we can do this again sometime."

He's holding a glass bottle that smells alcoholic. Teruteru imagines a drunk Hinata kissing him, that broad chest pressed close against him, pulling away from his wet, hot mouth to meet those intense eyes, before diving his hands down his pants.

"Sure thing, Hinata-kun." Teruteru twiddles his thumbs together. "Of course, we need more patties, but I'm sure you can figure it out."

"We will!" Hinata waves him good-bye and inserts himself into a conversation between Komaeda and Souda.

He realises, then, that he's spent the whole party standing at the grill.


	2. Chapter 2

It's that sweet spot in the afternoon when lunch is over but dinner preparations are far away. He wanders the island aimlessly, finds Sonia and Pekoyama stocking the shelves at the Rocketpunch Market.

"- ah, you don't? That's a terrible shame. I would love to introduce you to some if you wouldn't mind." Sonia blinks beautiful blue eyes at Pekoyama.

"No thank you. I'm content with my current media habits. However, if Fuyuhiko chooses to go, I will of course accompany him."

Teruteru approaches them. "What are you ladies talking about?"

Pekoyama glares. Sonia claps her hands.

"I am so glad you asked! Mitarai-san and I have finally accrued enough Japanese anime to begin our Anime Club, and we are currently seeking members. Will you be interested in joining us?"

Teruteru considers it, wonders if Sonia is truly the remarkably easy girl he thought she might be when he first laid eyes on her. It doesn't hurt to try...

"Sure, I'll be willing to join your club. For a price..." he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Sonia tilts her head in confusion. Pekoyama's gaze sharpens.

"What would that price be?" Sonia clasps her hands together.

"It's been so awfully long since a woman has serviced me down there, and if it doesn't happen soon I might die of blue balls. So if you would suck on my, err, lower lollipop, I'd be eternally in your favour."

A pause.

Sonia stares at him strangely. Pekoyama whips out her shinai.

Teruteru's only choice is to run.

-

He stops at a cliff on the beach, thinks it'd be a great makeout location, if only he had somebody to make out with.

He wanders back to the kitchen before sunset.

-

Pekoyama and Kuzuryuu eat alone at a table, deaf to the world. Pekoyama smiles like a goddess, and it's definitely not the sort of look Teruteru wants her to give him when she steps on him (if she stepped on him).

Pekoyama notices him staring and glares. He retreats back into the kitchen like nothing has happened, prepares dessert and doesn't think about them, but when he exits the hotel he finds them walking hand in hand towards the beach, and he has to follow them. As payment for the beating he nearly suffered.

He tails them carefully, remaining in the distance covered by shadows. They're too engrossed in each other to notice him. Vigilant as Pekoyama seems, she's like a pure maiden right now (although Teruteru is sure she's tainted).

His heart pounds like it's going to blow a hole through his chest. Pekoyama crouches in her skirt, but the darkness and distance obscure the view. She picks up something small - a shell, probably - and passes it to Kuzuryuu, who slips it into his pocket.

They resume holding hands. Teruteru thinks: he has something else for them to hold instead. His hands feel cold.

The night stretches on. A crab scuttles past Teruteru. Pekoyama and Kuzuryuu kiss and turn to walk home.

Both of them look at Teruteru. He runs before they can say anything.

His lips feel cold.


	3. Chapter 3

Teruteru peels a porn magazine off his face as his alarm clock blares in his ear.

His legs are tangled in the covers. He kicks them off, rubs his eyes, and lethargically shuffles to the kitchen and prepares breakfast.

Today Mioda is on kitchen duty.

She twirls into the room when Teruteru has carried out his last dish, hot pink spaghetti-strap dress swishing around her legs, drawing attention to the bare skin there.

"Mioda-san, good morning." Teruteru says. "You're looking awfully fine today."

"Good nom-nom-nomming, Teruteru-chan!" Mioda sings. "Thank you very much!"

Teruteru stops in the doorway to admire her slim, pale shoulders, as she eagerly wipes off the counter.

"Teruteru-chan." she says. "Ibuki can hear you breathing. Why are you still in the doorway?"

Teruteru freezes, his breath flickers out. "I-I was just leaving!"

He slams the door behind him and attracts the stares of the remaining people in the diner. Komaeda in particular looks suspicious.

He shoots them all a nervous smile and descends the stairs outside.

-

As Teruteru heads to the kitchen for lunch, he spies Mioda again, bare legs submerged in the pool. Beside her, Tsumiki does the same. A pink-faced Pekoyama stands at the poolside.

"W-We shouldn't force her." Tsumiki's thighs are a little on the thicker side, perfect to lay on or nibble at. Teruteru wants to die suffocated between them.

"C'mon, Peko-chan! It's fun! The water is all cool and it feels really nice!" Mioda's legs, on the other hand, are stick-thin and bony. Teruteru wants to wreck her.

"I'd rather not get my feet wet." Pekoyama's legs are hidden by a pair of black tights, but those are charming in their own right and show off a curvy, athletic lower body - perfect. Teruteru wants her to crush him.

As he's drooling over the trio in front of him, he hears somebody clearing their throat. A raspy sound. He turns.

Komaeda stands with his good hand in front of his mouth. He smiles pleasantly, but his eyes give off an air of hostility. Teruteru finds himself scrambling for an excuse to leave, sucking the drool back into his mouth.

"Hello, Hanamura-kun." Komaeda says. "I'm looking forward to another splendid lunch. It's such an honour to be served by the former Ultimate Chef!"

Chef. Is Komaeda trying to make amends?

Teruteru finds himself shivering.

"Thank you very much, Komaeda-kun." he says.

Komaeda turns on his heel and leaves. Teruteru imagines what he looks like underneath that ratty green jacket he still wears. He must be bone-thin and breakable, milky pale and easy to mark up. He wonders if he would top or bottom. Banishes the thought and returns to the kitchen.

-

Sometimes, the person on kitchen duty serves as a chef's assistant, chopping vegetables and bringing him what he needs. Teruteru calls Mioda in while preparing dinner.

She pours herself over him, bends over and squees about being 'kitchen buddies', her small breasts pressing against the back of his head, and he heats up rapidly before pulling away.

"What's up? You look really warm." she puts a hand on his forehead, then shakes it and laughs nervously. "I'll chop-chop the vegetables for you now... eheh..."

He watches her profile, wonders what would happen if he touched her, wonders if he would dare. Surely she invited it by hugging him like that, teasing him with her body.

He shakes his head clean, focuses on cooking, shoves all thoughts away.

She glances at him while she chops. Her face is red. He thinks: maybe he has a chance.

-

Mioda stands at her table the next morning, as Teruteru brings out a stack of pancakes.

"Ibuki has an announcement to make." she says. "Ibuki is asexual."

Teruteru jolts, then freezes, nearly dropping the plate.  
"Gross! We don't want to know about your sex life." Saionji says, then falters when she receives an admonishing look from her girlfriend.

"Thank you for trusting us," Koizumi turns her attention back to Mioda. "I know how hard it can be to come out." 

Tanaka chuckles. "As expected, you mortals are all so blind. It's clear from Mioda's aura that she is blessed with the permanent blood of a virgin. I, too, am the same."

The chatter in the dining room continues, but Teruteru can't hear it over the tidal wave of blood creeping through his ears. He skitters back to the kitchen on autopilot.

He thinks: he's never had a chance.


	4. Chapter 4

Tanaka, Souda, and Sonia are all beautiful, inspiring, and Teruteru has long envisioned the legendary threesomes between them, pure Sonia sandwiched between the men, passed between them, thoroughly defiled.

He dreams of it, sometimes, but now his mind loops back around to Tanaka's words: "Permanent blood of a virgin. I, too, am the same."

These days, Tanaka spends a lot of his time on the ranch with his animals, and Teruteru drops by occasionally for food ingredients. Today Tanaka sits with a chicken in his lap and Sonia's head on his shoulder.

He seems annoyed with Teruteru. Granted, he seems annoyed with everything, but as he hands Teruteru a basket of eggs, he definitely looks more annoyed than usual. It's off-putting, and Teruteru finds himself rushing to get away.

-

He wonders occasionally if Souda is the odd one out, between the three of them. He used to think they'd often have sex without him. Now, he can't help but wonder if he's just there to satisfy Sonia's needs.

The three of them sit in the diner together, almost without fail. Initially, there seemed to be some degree of incongruence, but it's faded with time, and now it seems as if they've always been a fully integrated group.

He hears someone ask them if they're together.

"Something like that." Souda says.

Teruteru doesn't understand it, but it makes him feel worse.


	5. Chapter 5

"Ew, gross!" Saionji exclaims. "Who invited him here?"

She's at the Titty Typhoon practicing dance. Teruteru has followed her to the third island to watch her.

"Be nice." Koizumi says, non-committal. She's pulled up a chair to watch her girlfriend on stage.

"Like fuck I will," Saionji says. "That horny bastard better leave before I get mad."

It always starts like this: Teruteru only has to look at her, and she goes off. Koizumi performatively grants him mercy, but the moment he speaks, she turns on him.

The fact is, he's fascinated by them. Saionji has a sexy habit of degrading him, Koizumi is good-natured but stern, and they're two women who clearly enjoy an active sex life together. He hopes they'll let him join them one day.

-

The supply ship rolls in. Teruteru eagerly snatches his deliveries. A bag of gummy bears has been mixed in with his collection of spices and ingredients.

He picks it up and examines it more closely. Tasteless. It's an insult to Teruteru's cooking that somebody ordered this.

Saionji materializes behind him and snatches the bag before he can ask whose it is.

He briefly entertains the fantasy of bribing Saionji with the gummies. They're a rare treat, after all, and she'd be like a well-trained dog.

… of course, Teruteru is afraid to come anywhere near Saionji.

-

He makes vanilla cheesecake.

He's never baked as much as he does now. It's not his talent, nor his passion, but it's part of making everyone happy. They need to like him.

It's night. He cleans the mess in the kitchen himself. He sticks the cheesecake in the refrigerator and leaves the hotel building, heads to his cottage. Somebody whimpers, soft yet audible from Teruteru is walking. He stops in his tracks.

There's a stifled, throaty sound, like an involuntary moan, and Teruteru sweats nervously.

He determines that it's coming from Koizumi's cottage, so he creeps closer to it and presses an ear against her door, ever-so-quiet.

"K-Koizumi-nee…" Saionji's voice shakes. She sounds almost meek. "Not so hard."

"Okay." Koizumi sounds calm. "You're so cute, Hiyoko-chan."

"Mahiru…" there's a wet sound, followed by a cry from Saionji.

Teruteru feels as if he's unravelling at the seams. He wants to ask if he can join them. He wants to run away. He wants to see.

He hears someone exit their cottage and rapidly flees to his own.

-

Saionji enjoys her vanilla cheesecake.

There's something arousing about watching someone attractive stuff their face with his food. She'd probably spit it out if she knew what Teruteru heard the night before.

Koizumi watches her, hands folded on the table. Half a slice of cheesecake remains on her plate, but she seems more content to watch Saionji.

Teruteru would like that to be him. Content with watching.


	6. Chapter 6

Impostor sits in the hotel lobby with Mitarai's head in their lap. Across the room, at the broken arcade machine, Komaeda and Hinata bicker. Sonia, Souda, and Tanaka relax against each other.

That's how Teruteru finds them after eating lunch. It's an unusually windy day, something Teruteru never would've expected to encounter on an island like this.

"Like I said, Hinata-kun. Not only do we need to put the new books on the shelves, but I need new things to read." Komaeda leans over the arcade machine. "If Kamukura-kun and I were to take the ferry alone, there'd be no risk. I trust his luck."

"If Izuru is taking the ferry, you are not going with him. I don't trust you not to do something stupid." Hinata leans away from Komaeda. "Why are you so eager to go, anyway? We have, like, sixty books between our cottages."

Impostor speaks up. "I also need to exchange some books."

"I, too, am in need of new books." Sonia says from her cuddle pile. "It is hard to entertain oneself without them."

Hinata pinches the bridge of his nose. Komaeda grins smugly at him.

"Izuru says the weather is going to get significantly worse today." Hinata says. "So if we do go, we go now."

-

Teruteru doesn't need new books, can't even read English. He follows them anyway.

He boards the ferry behind Komaeda, who smiles at him. Teruteru remembers finding his smile cute, once, before everything, but ever since the killing game…

The ocean is intense. Sonia looks uncomfortable. Hinata looks bored. Komaeda looks happy.

Teruteru clutches his stomach.

-

They've never fixed the diner on the second island. It's grimy and it's falling apart. It makes Teruteru sad to look at, reminds him of his mother.

He shakes off the thought.

The library is boring. He doesn't understand people who enjoy it.

Sonia examines a row of books with a hand on her chin, elegant. Behind her, Souda pesters Tanaka for title translations.

Mitarai is cuddled against Impostor on the floor, a thick book between them. He kisses their thick cheek as if nobody else is in the room.

Teruteru's face burns. He runs to the bathroom, imagines Mitarai's thin frame crushed under Impostor's weight.

He scrubs his hands clean and wanders off. He can feel Impostor's eyes on him as he exits.

-

As he wanders near the diner, a sudden gust of wind knocks his hat off of his head, and Teruteru, chasing it, hears a moan, for the third time this month.

Near the diner, past the tunnel to the beach. It's a hoarse sound, like squeaking through a chokehold. Teruteru's bones lock into place, his eyes widen.

He leaves his hat behind and follows the sound.

"K-Kamu… oh…" an indecent sound Teruteru has almost never failed to recognise.

His breath quickens. He crawls closer, peeks out of the tunnel carefully.

Hinata has him pinned against the beach house, one hand on Komaeda's neck and the other is down there.

Teruteru covers his mouth. Komaeda gasps loudly.

"Quiet, Komaeda." Hinata's voice is hard. "I will no longer indulge you if you don't control yourself."

"Yes, Kamukura-sama…" Komaeda bites down on his own fist. "Nn…"

Neither of them pays Teruteru any mind, but he feels trapped in place, unable to run and hide.

Komaeda's jacket lies in the sand, his T-shirt lifted to his chest, revealing a deliciously frail body, flat chest and visible rib cage.

Hinata bites Komaeda's collarbone. Komaeda yelps.

"Is this why you wanted to come to this island?" Hinata says.

Komaeda laughs breathlessly. "Hinata-kun is amazing but… I miss you."

Teruteru feels like he's watching a dream. Komaeda's voice is too sweet, his body is too luscious. It's hard to remember why Teruteru is afraid of him in the first place.

His lips look so soft and pink… Hinata kisses them, cups Komaeda's cheek. Komaeda leans into it, his gaunt face startlingly gentle.

"Kamukura-sama, I'm close." Komaeda grabs the back of Hinata's head. "If you want me to do something for you, I'll… mm…!"

In lieu of an answer, Hinata strokes faster, trails kisses down Komaeda's neck.

Teruteru holds his breath, fully aware that he should bolt as soon as possible so they don't notice him watching them, but he's too mesmerized by Komaeda's reactions.

"K-Kamu…" Komaeda's eyes shoot open and he stutters out a breath, locking eyes with Teruteru. He looks beyond caring, closes his eyes like he didn't see anything.

Hinata keeps stroking him. Komaeda sags against the beach house, panting.

"Thank you, do you need -"

Hinata shakes his head and kisses Komaeda again.

Teruteru returns to the boat, terror-stricken. The wind is still.

-

Back on the boat, he avoids eye contact with the others, red-faced and sweaty.

Impostor hands him his hat without a word. They're glaring at him suspiciously.

Teruteru wants to go home.


	7. Chapter 7

Teruteru has nightmares about Komaeda on kitchen duty. He remembers entering the kitchen one morning to find Komaeda sharpening a huge knife in a dark corner.

"Good morning, Hanamura-kun!" he'd chirped. "How wonderful it is to see you on this fine morning."

Teruteru had screamed, prompting Owari to rush in fist-first looking for a fight. There was no fight to be found, of course. Komaeda immediately raised his hands in surrender and apologised for startling him.

Teruteru doesn't trust Komaeda, but he also can't stop him from taking on kitchen duty. He dreads it every time.

Komaeda is the most efficient at cleaning. He leaves every surface sparkling and finishes faster than the rest. Teruteru wishes he weren't so damn scary.

Today he mops the floor as Teruteru inhales his spaghetti lunch.

"Hey, Hanamura-kun." he continues mopping the floor as he speaks. "Do you ever wonder if you're owed something that you're not getting?"

Teruteru slurps a strand of spaghetti and chews carefully. His insides are boiling. He tries not to let it show. "Wh-What do you mean?"

"Nothing in particular." Komaeda keeps mopping. "I've just been having some thoughts."

Teruteru doesn't understand Komaeda. He leaves his dish in the sink and sprints out of the kitchen.

-

Another month, another island meeting.

Sonia and Mitarai announce the monthly theme of their anime club. They've settled on magical girls, and they'll begin with Pretty Pudgy Princess at the cinema on the third island.

Teruteru asks for a porn magazine on his list.

Komaeda is the one to speak up about the monthly event.

"How about a dance?" he says. Hinata looks at him suspiciously, but he ignores it. "In the diner at Hotel Mirai."

Hinata looks at everyone else. They all look back at him.

"Are there any objections to this idea?"

Silence.

Teruteru looks at Komaeda. He's still smiling.

-

Every monthly event has its patterns. Teruteru contentedly prepares and brings out the food, Owari and Impostor shove it down their throats, Komaeda spends the whole time suspiciously quiet in the corner of the room until someone (usually Hinata) talks to him. Teruteru spends the whole time where the food is.

He's been an awkward fixture at every party he's been to. He'd try to flirt with his peers and they'd turn him down, disgusted. He'd try to brag about his culinary skills and they'd ignore him.

Koizumi and Sonia laugh as they improvise a nonsensical dance routine. Impostor has a pleasant conversation with Mioda and Tsumiki. Hinata pours himself and Kuzuryuu some drinks.

Komaeda slides in next to Teruteru, eerily cheerful as usual. "Hey there, Hanamura-kun."

"K-Komaeda-kun." Teruteru's stomach drops. "Are you having fun?"

"Parties like this aren't really my thing." a small laugh bubbles up in Komaeda's throat. "Of course, I did suggest it. I like seeing everyone like this."

As usual, Teruteru has absolutely no idea what Komaeda is talking about. "Oh. Well, uh —"

"Hanamura-kun." Komaeda brings his face close. Too close. Teruteru's entire body is on fire. "Have you ever danced at a party like this?"

"O-Of course, I …" Teruteru's throat closes as Komaeda clasps his hand.

"Hinata-kun is too busy for me, it seems." Komaeda smirks. It's unfairly hot. "I know I'm not much, but it's important for all of us to be friends."

Friends.

The word feels like a cage. Friends don't have sex. Friends aren't special. Friends won't save Teruteru from this emptiness.  
Komaeda pulls him to the dance floor, where Sonia and Koizumi are laughing their heads off. The laughter is decently ugly, Koizumi doubled over and clutching her chest, Sonia snorting. (Although there's some appeal to be found in the snorting.)

Komaeda lets go of his hand. "Since you've done this before, it might be for the best if you show me." he beams at Teruteru. "I'm terribly clumsy so I'm no good at dancing. How do you do it, Hanamura-kun?"

Teruteru searches Komaeda's face for a sign that he's being sinister. He doesn't find anything but earnestness.

"O-Okay." Teruteru doesn't know why he's so nervous, trembling and red-faced. "I was renowned back in my hometown as a pretty good dancer, just so you know."

He's speaking without thinking again. Stupid. Komaeda is no fool, he must see right through him.

But he's smiling patiently. He doesn't even twitch.

The song changes, from something silly and bouncy to something throbbing and wild.

Teruteru sucks in a deep breath and strikes the smoothest pose he can imagine. Komaeda claps and giggles encouragingly. Teruteru keeps moving.

"Incredible! The hope you exude is beyond anything I could've imagined! As expected of an Ultimate, you truly shine at everything you do even outside of your talent!" Komaeda cheers. "I greatly admire your dedication. You really are worthy of being called a symbol of hope, after all!"

Teruteru is out of breath, but he continues. Hinata walks up to them.

"Hey," he says. And then, lowering his voice: "Uh, Komaeda, what exactly are you doing?"

"You told me to interact more with the others." Komaeda's tone is bright. "So that's exactly what I'm doing. Right, Hanamura-kun?"

Teruteru stops dancing, panting and clutching his knees. "Y-Yeah. Komaeda-kun just wanted me to teach him some dance moves."

Hinata gives Komaeda an odd look but doesn't engage further.

"Hanamura-kun. I'm going to try to imitate you now." Komaeda says. "Seeing you dance was so inspiring, even someone as worthless as me can't help but feel it."

Teruteru gulps.

Komaeda's moves are by no means graceful, and Teruteru has no idea if they matched what he was doing. But seeing him like this almost makes him feel trustworthy. It's charming, and Komaeda is cute.

It takes a while for Teruteru to notice, but Hinata is standing on the other side of the room and watching them. He looks concerned, a confused smile on his face.

Komaeda becomes exhausted faster than Teruteru did, collapses onto his knees, panting. "My stamina is dreadful." he says. "I'm so disappointing."

Teruteru falters on what to say, mind jammed up, and the first thing he can think of when he gets it together is that Komaeda looks lovely, pink-flushed and breathing heavy on the floor, and it gets him all worked up. He can still hear Komaeda's moans from the second island.

His brain catches up with him as Komaeda gets to his feet. "You're not disappointing at all, Komaeda-kun."

Komaeda shoots him one last smile. "Hanamura-kun is so kind!" he says. Then: "Thank you for hanging out with me."

"You're welcome!" Teruteru says to his back, as Komaeda leaves for Hinata.

Teruteru stands completely still and watches them.

-

It feels like he spends the whole rest of the party staring at Komaeda, even though the room is filled with other young, sexy, well-dressed people. The whole time, Komaeda keeps glancing at him and waving.

It's like having a chance again. Teruteru never has a chance.

There's an obligatory slow song late into the party, and of course Komaeda goes with Hinata. Teruteru has no reason to feel envy, but it overtakes him anyway, searing him. He's seen them together. He knows.

Komaeda leans in close to whisper something in Hinata's ear, and the tension between them is so heavy it's almost tangible, the way they're standing and touching and looking at each other.

Teruteru isn't surprised when they separate and leave together.

He isn't surprised, but …

He looks around him. Mioda is swinging her hair around to a soft song while Tsumiki laughs delicately. Saionji is showing off to a starry-eyed Sonia and an exasperated Koizumi. Impostor is talking to Pekoyama and Kuzuryuu, Tanaka is confusing Mitarai and Souda. Everyone is distracted.

Teruteru sneaks out after the couple. It's only natural that he would, right?

-

Teruteru's siblings would always tease him for being a virgin. It was their go-to insult: everything they ever said boiled down to Teruteru's inability to get laid or find a girlfriend. They were blessed with good looks and managed to rope in partners left and right. Candidates for Ultimate Male and Female Escort. They never cared about the diner or Mama.

She'd been the first girl to spare him so much as a glance. Busty, beautiful, twisted Junko Enoshima. But she'd never been his.

It's only natural that he's here now. This is all he'll ever get; a second hand glimpse into someone else's perfect life. They were right all along: he'll die without ever experiencing someone's passion. But he needs it, deserves it. He'll take what he can get.

It's payment for the time Komaeda got him killed.

Hinata's cottage is lit up in a comforting glow. He steps towards it, quiet, hardly daring to breathe.

He takes a risk and looks through the corner of the open window, just enough to get a glimpse. It's a clear view of their bed. Komaeda is kissing Hinata into the mattress, unexpectedly dominant. He breaks the kiss and breathes so heavily that Teruteru can hear it.

"What's gotten into you tonight?" Hinata says. "You're not usually so, like ..." he scratches his head. "Eager?"

"Do I really need a reason?" Komaeda sounds so innocent. "Hey, Hinata-kun. I want to ride you tonight. Is that okay?"

"Uh, yeah, sure, it's more than okay — fuck, I forgot to close the window this morning …" Hinata breathes heavily.

"Don't worry about it. Just leave it open." Komaeda links his arms around Hinata's neck adorably. "Nobody will hear us. They're all at the party."  
"Right, I just …" they kiss again.

Teruteru can barely see their faces, but Hinata is definitely blushing. 

"I should probably, uh, prep you. Like, now." Hinata untangles himself from Komaeda to feel around the bed.

Teruteru's lungs ache from stifling his breath. He looks away, ducks out of view from the window and listens to them, too nervous to watch. This is different from the beach, somehow, different from listening to Saionji and Koizumi. He's witnessing something more intimate than that.

Hinata stumbles over his words more than Teruteru has ever imagined he would. He sounds so awkward and vulnerable, something about it drives Teruteru insane.

There's a sound of a lid popping open, a sharp intake of breath, Komaeda moaning.

Teruteru feels so bad. He's tempted to jerk off here and now, but he's still afraid of being caught.

"Hinata-kun." Komaeda sighs. "You don't have to go so slow."

"I don't like hurting you." Hinata's voice sounds so heavy. "I know you won't let me know if it hurts."

Teruteru peeks through the window again as Komaeda unravels on the bed. He continues to watch as he begs Hinata to let him start. He continues to watch as Komaeda sinks down on Hinata's cock, torturously slow, and then throws his head back farther than Teruteru would've thought possible and cries - "Hey, Hanamura-kun!"

It's not unlike being doused in ice water. Hinata's eyes on him, shifting through several hundred emotions at once. Komaeda's eyes on him, smiling like nothing is wrong.

It registers in Teruteru's mind that Hinata's current state of undress, the fact that his dick is in Komaeda, and the shock he's currently going through, all give Teruteru ample time to run away.

It registers shortly after that no matter where he runs, he's not going to escape the consequences.

He tries anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

The next island meeting has the atmosphere of a class trial.

"I have observed Hanamura's inappropriate behaviour numerous times." Pekoyama says. "In particular, he's attempted to coerce Sonia into doing him sexual favours, and he once stalked me and Fuyuhiko on the beach."

"Kick him off the island!" Saionji throws her hands in the air. "I've been saying since the start that he's a waste of space!"

"Ibuki thinks he's a creep." Mioda says.

"I am sorry." Sonia fists her hands in her skirt. "I do believe that everyone deserves a second chance, but it frightens me to think of such a person wandering the island unsupervised."

"I agree." Owari raises her fist. "Maybe we should beat some sense into him!"

"Violence… is unnecessary." Tanaka smirks. "Clearly the only correct course of action is to contain him."

"I agree." Komaeda says. "Hanamura-kun deserves a second chance, just like the rest of us. Which is why I propose locking him in the warehouse on the fifth island."

"Maybe we should tie him up." Souda suggests. "Just like we did to Komaeda in the killing game."

"I find that punishment a bit too senseless." Komaeda says. "What we need is someone to guard him. I volunteer —"

"No, Komaeda, I'm not allowing you to endlessly torment Hanamura in the warehouse where you killed yourself. Overruled." Hinata says.

"I still think we should kick him off the island." Saionji mopes.

In the end, they decide to put him on house arrest in his cottage. For three months.

Teruteru thinks it could be worse. He could be executed.

-

Komaeda visits him in what Saionji has dubbed 'horny jail', seemingly just to make him feel worse.

"Kamukura-kun has been preparing our meals for us." Komaeda swings his thin legs on Teruteru's bed. "He's had to put his other projects on hold. It's a real shame."

He stands.

"Hey, Hanamura-kun. Do you know why I did that?" Komaeda steps forward. Teruteru steps back. "Hinata-kun isn't even aware it was on purpose, but I did lure you out so that you'd see us. I wanted him to punish you."

He smiles. The smile is back to being untrustworthy. Teruteru doesn't understand why he ever saw it as anything else.

"I'm very lucky." Komaeda says. "I believe that if you choose to do something like that again. I'll find out. And if that happens, I won't be so forgiving. I'll leave Hinata-kun out of it entirely."

Teruteru sinks to the floor.

Lucky. Huh.

His room is at once larger and smaller than he remembers it being. He curls up in his bed and feels empty.


End file.
